Pat Benatar, "Crimes of Passion"

CJ hits us with his best shot

CJ’s Pitch:

I have a thing for album covers. The memorable ones give you a greater insight to the music on the record inside. The guitar smash on London Calling foreshadows the rage about to be unleashed. The zipper on the front of Sticky Fingers gives you a preview of the raunchy tunes within. And the banana on the sleeve of The Velvet Underground and Nico is, well, a banana. But, Andy Warhol made it, so it’s gotta mean something weird, right?

The cover of Pat Benatar’s Crimes of Passion has had a hold on me ever since it graced the shelves of record stores in 1980. The story that I’ve concocted in my head about how they arrived at the photo goes something like this: They’ve been trying to get the right picture for hours and both Pat and the photographer are tired and frustrated. The photographer begins to give more direction and Pat turns away to gather herself for another round of flashbulbs. As she does, the photographer sees something about her demeanor and snaps off several quick shots. The result is that Pat looks both vulnerable and strong, like someone could very easily break her heart but that she’d give them absolute hell for doing so. Vulnerable and strong. That’s the perfect description for Crimes of Passion.

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In the Golden Age of Arena Rock (late ‘70s/early ‘80s), there were few female-led bands that could crack the boys club which dominated hockey and basketball venues across the land. It was basically Heart, The Pretenders and Pat Benatar. (I’ll listen to arguments for Blondie, but I would argue that they were much more at home at CBGB than the Cow Palace.) In Pat’s case, it was a crystal-clear dagger of a voice that pierced the glass ceiling and put her on the same stage as the likes of Styx, Journey and REO Speedwagon. It won’t surprise anyone who’s ever heard that voice to learn that Pat was originally training to be an opera singer. But then, to appropriate Lou Reed, her life was saved by rock and roll.

Crimes of Passion features a fully realized Pat Benatar. The album opens with five straight killers, four which charted on the rock and pop charts. “Treat Me Right” is a catchy rocker that throws down a “shit or get off the pot” gauntlet to a potential lover and features a nifty little solo by Pat’s husband and secret weapon, Neil Giraldo. “You Better Run” is a warning to anybody who would do Pat dirty. It was, not for nothing, the second video ever played on MTV. The clip wasn’t especially high concept, but when Benatar—clad in skin-tight leather pants and matching belt—points at the camera and tells us we better run, we fuckin’ run.

“Never Wanna Leave You” lets Pat show off her range in a song that would’ve been right at home in Missing Persons’ ‘80s catalog. And then comes Pat’s anthem “Hit Me With Your Best Shot”. In a lesser singer’s hands, this song could’ve come off as a joke. When Pat sings it, nobody is laughing.

Rounding off Side 1 is the child abuse ballad “Hell is for Children”. At the time, it wasn’t a subject that people talked about openly. Instead of a weepy dirge, Pat elects to make it a screaming statement that refuses to be ignored.

Side 2 has a few more notable highlights. “I’m Gonna Follow You” is a time-stamped piece of early ‘80s rock that my man Billy Squier could easily have penned. “Wuthering Heights” is a remarkable cover of Kate Bush’s best-known song. And finally, “Out-A-Touch” hints at the pop direction that Pat’s career would soon take.

To make it as a female rocker in the ‘80s, you had to be tough. But, not so tough that you walled out your fans. Vulnerable and strong—that was the tightrope you had to walk. And nobody walked it like Pat.

Now it’s time for her to continue that stroll right onto Newbury St.

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Mitch’s Response:

Let’s cut to the quick here: there’s no way this album is getting into the Newbury St. Collection. Aside from Pat’s forceful vocals and some nice guitar work from Neil Giraldo, this album falls firmly into the “shit metal” category for me, and there hasn’t been room for shit metal on Newbury St. since Daisy Buchanan’s shut down.

But I’m going to give you something much more valuable my dear friend. Glasnost. Detente. Armistice. 

Victory.

Lo, these many years, as we have wearily taken up arms and ears in the endless Pat Benatar vs. Sheryl Crow battle, I am finally willing to admit defeat. You were right, I was wrong, blinded by my love for beautiful Southern rockers like Sheryl Crow and Warren Haynes.

Your argument was that Pat was a more significant artist and my counter was that Sheryl wrote better songs. And in fairness, this battle started long before Spotify, so it wasn’t like I was spending a lot of time with Crimes of Passion while making my case. But after this last week listening to Pat I finally hear what you're saying. Adding a strong female vocalist with tons of personality in her voice on top of metal-leaning rock is innovative and cool. It was a new sound, it produced some memorable hits, and inspired many other artists. 

So while Crimes of Passion generally sounds like Krokus with a new lead singer, and I will never listen to it again in my life, I will gladly listen to you crow forevermore about winning our long-standing debate.

• Pitch Failed (Hell is an allegory)

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Ken’s Response:

I’ve always been a person that values substance.  I will pass up an opportunity to have drinks with James Woods or Eric Clapton, in exchange for coffee with Bonnie Raitt or Keanu Reeves in a heartbeat. Good people make everything better.  And good music by good people is an experience so filled with joy, that it’s hard to explain to people who haven’t seen it or listened to it firsthand.

I’ve always been predisposed to liking Pat Benatar’s hits.  “Love Is A Battlefield”, “Hit Me With Your Best Shot”, “We Belong” and “Shadows Of The Night” all got regular play on mixtapes during my teen years.  I didn’t know anything about her personally, didn’t have any desire to buy one of her albums, probably wouldn’t have gone to see her in concert, but she had a handful of songs that made me happy.

That’s why it’s so hard for me to say that I absolutely hated almost everything about Crimes of Passion.  While her voice is solidly cemented in the “YES, she can definitely sing!” category, the songs-I-don’t-know on this album, which we commonly refer to as “filler” are just terrible.  I know she’s a classically trained singer, and maybe she should have stayed with the classics, because her voice juxtaposed with the absolute garbage pseudo-heavy metal that’s being played behind her is unlistenable.

Between her shrieking to try to keep up with a way-too-high key on “Treat Me Right” to the awful cover of Kate Bush’s “Wuthering Heights” (which was terrible to begin with), there’s a strange thing happening.  While a good album makes you find an artist’s work more attractive, after listening to Crimes of Passion, I actually like the hits I already liked just a little bit less.

To paraphrase the great (and fictitious) Marty DeBergi, on what day did God create “Hell Is For Children”, and couldn’t he have rested on that day, too?

• Pitch Unsuccessful (we belong...anywhere but Newbury St.)

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CJ’s pitch was not successful and Pat Benatar’s Crimes of Passion has been exiled!

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Well, love is a battlefield and CJ gave it his best shot, but two of us don’t think Pat belongs on Newbury Street. You better run to the comments section and let us know if you agree or not!

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Please join us next week as Mitch takes us on a timeless flight with Byrd legend Gene Clark and his solo masterpiece No Other.

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The Exile on Newbury St. Spotify playlist features our favorite songs from all the albums we’ve discussed to date. Subscribe today and listen back on the fun we’ve had so far.

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Exile on Newbury St. is a weekly newsletter competition between 4 friends to see who has the best taste in music. Learn more about us and the rules of the game.