CJ’s Pitch:
Two loners meet. One is wealthy, the son of a professional tennis player. The other is a working-class kid, the son of devout Christian Scientists who reject medicine. As a result, his mother’s cancer goes untreated, and she dies.
The wealthy kid is a mediocre drummer who wants to form a metal band. The working-class kid is a good rhythm guitarist and reluctant vocalist who has already been in several metal bands.
Instantly, the working-class kid dislikes the rich kid.
“Who does this fucking Lars Ulrich guy think he is?” James Hetfield wonders. “Fucking guy is spoiled. Music is just a goof for him. He doesn’t need it like I do.”
So, they part ways.
Lars goes off to Europe for the summer to follow some of his favorite metal bands as they tour the continent. It is 1981 and the New Wave of British Heavy Metal (NWOBHM) is in full growl. Yeah, Lars digs Maiden and Priest and to a lesser extent, Def Leppard. But he also has a taste for bands whose music never quite translates across the pond. Bands like Venom and Angel Witch and Diamond Head. Especially Diamond Head.
When he gets back, Lars calls James and convinces him to come over and listen to a bunch of records he’s picked up in Europe. They rock out to Tygers of Pan Tang, Blitzkrieg and, of course, Diamond Head. The music bonds them and makes them feel less alone.
“At least this guy’s got good taste,” Hetfield thinks. “Maybe this will work after all.”
The two teens find a talented, but troubled, lead guitarist named Dave whose love of alcohol often outstrips his love of making music. (Don’t worry about Dave, though. He will pull himself together and form another successful group later.) The band calls themselves Metallica. It’s the most metal name any of them has ever heard.
One night, James and Lars go to the Whiskey to catch a show. They see a bassist named Cliff who absolutely blows them away. Cliff is a quiet, thoughtful kid who knows music theory and has his own tragic past. They immediately invite him to join the band. (Do worry about Cliff. He will die in a bus crash on an icy road in Sweden while on tour in 1986.)
Metallica record their first album in 1983. Kill ‘Em All is, in large part, an homage to the NWOBHM bands the group loves so well. They play loud and fast and hard. Indeed, several of the songs are about doing just that. There’s a lot of fucking around on Kill ‘Em All, but there are also signs of what is to come in songs like “Motorbreath”, “Phantom Lord” and “Seek and Destroy.”
Before Metallica go into the studio to record their second album, they fire Dave and hire a shredder named Kirk. (At present, there is no cause to worry or not worry about Kirk.) Immediately, there’s a new sense of focus in the band. Cliff introduces music theory and thoughtful songwriting into the process. James finally embraces his role as lead singer. Lars concentrates on timing and getting the rhythm right. And Kirk, in addition to providing killer riffs, comes up with the perfect name.
Ride The Lightning is a euphemism (sort of) for going to the electric chair. Most notably, it appears in Stephen King’s best book, The Stand. The cover art even features an electric chair being illuminated by lightning bolts emanating from the Metallica logo.
Side Note: I had lightning bolts painted over my bed in my childhood home because I love Metallica. And because I’m an idiot.
And the songs! Gone are the “are you ready to bang your head?” lyrics, replaced by mature, dark tales of existential crisis. “Fight Fire with Fire” worries about the threat of nuclear destruction as the result of escalating tensions between countries. The title cut is the interior monologue of a man who is about to ride the lightning for a crime he did not commit. “For Whom the Bell Tolls”, a track that would become one of the band’s signature tunes, draws heavily from the intense Hemingway novel of the same name.
“Fade to Black” shows us a man at his lowest point contemplating suicide, something that James thought about more than once. At first blush, “Trapped Under Ice” is a metaphor for feeling cornered. Then when you listen to it, you’re like, holy shit, this is about someone who is actually trapped under frozen water. “Creeping Death” is, of course, the story of Passover as told by a heavy metal band. The highlight of any Metallica concert is the crowd screaming “Die! Die! Die” throughout this song.
And finally, you want a jam, Mitch and Ken? You got it! “The Call of Ktulu” is a nine-minute instrumental that reminds me of “Drums/Space” at a Dead show. Except exactly the opposite. This is my present to you, boys.
Ride The Lightning cemented Metallica’s place as one of the founding fathers of thrash metal along with Megadeth (Dave’s new band), Anthrax and Slayer. Since this album, the band has gone in darker, heavier directions and lighter, more radio-friendly directions with equal measures of success. But, in my mind, this album will always be Metallica’s truest version of themselves.
Two loners meet. Together, they ride the lightning and set fire to the sky.
Ken’s Response:
Mitch and I went to a concert Saturday night. It was pure joy! The energy on stage, the setlist (song choices were absolute perfection), the band was smiling all night, and you could feel the positive vibes all around. It was the perfect end to what had already been a wonderful day.
For me, music has always been about its energy. I want music to make me feel something, and as I continue to age, I need that energy to be relatable to my life. Whether it’s the happiness and fun that came from seeing Joe Russo’s Almost Dead, or the sadness of some old folk tune, in order for me to enjoy the experience, it has to be able to fit into one of the many boxes that is my dysfunctional being.
In my life, I avoid negativity, anger, and “harshness” at all costs…and without burying the lede, that’s why I absolutely loathe heavy metal. It’s dark, a lot of it has ridiculous lyrics, and most importantly it’s loud without being melodic.
Metallica’s Ride The Lightning was a horrifying listening experience. Every song was more annoying than the one before. I don’t care how good or bad the band is musically; they could all be virtuosos for all I care, their finished product is brutal.
I know, it’s not them, it’s me. Sure, but this is also my response and I hated every single second of this album and will never allow it to ruin a single moment of my day ever again. Also, I’m a little mad at CJ for making me go through the trauma of listening to this abomination.
Pitch Failed (I did like it when Mariano used to walk out to “Enter Sandman”)
Mitch’s Response:
I take it back.
Every criticism of Ozzy. All of my jokes about Judas Priest and Motley Crue. My snide asides about Black Sabbath and The Scorpions. I take it all back.
In retrospect, those bands were delightful. Those albums were an absolute pleasure. Those weeks were among the best weeks of my life.
You see, people like Ozzy, bands like The Scorpions, at least they were trying. Trying to be popular, trying to have hits, trying to make people happy.
Not Metallica. Those sad, little lonely boys were too busy thrashing around in their own filth to bother trying to make other people happy. Sure, they eventually dumped the thrash and got around to being a popular band with good-ish songs that people actually liked, but that’s not what riding the lightning is about. Riding the lightning is all about pleasing themselves.
“Fight Fire With Fire” has a cool neo-classical intro before Lars beats us into submission. The torture continues with “Ride the Lightning”, seemingly a contest to see which instrument can sound most grating. “For Whom The Bell Tolls” attempts an actual vocal melody, a welcome respite from the shitty, proto-Cookie Monster vocals that fill the rest of the album. "Fade to Black” is pretty good - the clear stand-out track and a preview of their successful, accessible future. “Trapped Under Ice” sounds like bad Judas Priest, while “Escape” sounds like okay Judas Priest, but neither are nearly as good as Rupert Holmes’ "Escape (the Pina Colada Song)” or Bob Dylan’s “The Ballad of Frankie Lee and Judas Priest”. “Creeping Death” feels like a hangover after 4 cups of Manischewitz and a shot of Slivovitz. “The Call of Ktulu” is an epic jam that goes absolutely nowhere, and would be much better with the addition of Mickey Hart’s beam.
This was my first Metallica album, and hopefully my last. Given the choice between listening to “Ride the Lightning" again and actually riding the lightning, I’d choose the chair every time.
Pitch Failed (you are unforgiven for foisting this hot garbage on us)
CJ’s pitch was not successful and Metallica’s Ride the Lightning will be riding the T all the way back to Riverside, with no stops at the Newbury St. Collection.
Nothing else matters except for you to head over to the comments section and let us know if Metallica’s Ride the Lightning is the one for whom the bell tolls, or makes you want to turn the page. Sad but true!
Please join us next week as Mitch gets his favorite Nudie suit out of storage and visits The Gilded Palace of Sin with The Flying Burrito Bros.
The Exile on Newbury St. Spotify playlist features our favorite songs from all the albums we’ve discussed to date. Subscribe today and listen back on the fun we’ve had so far.
That was harsh. Made for fun reading.
I think CJ will have more success with an album from the NWOBHM, specifically Iron Maiden. Something like Seventh Son of a Seventh Son (one of my favorites) has all the melody that Mitch and Ken are wanting and missing.
best burn of the entire EONS series: "...Given the choice between listening to 'Ride the Lightning' again and actually riding the lightning, I’d choose the chair every time."