ZZ Top, "Tres Hombres"

CJ takes you to that home out on the range

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Sep 13, 2023

CJ’s Pitch:

I finally made it to Austin a couple of years ago. I had been to Texas before, making several visits to Dallas on business. But Big D is a charmless city of highways and corporate headquarters. It’s basically a hotter, drier version of Stamford, Connecticut.

Austin, however, felt like real Texas. It’s got a “do whatever feels good” vibe to it that the natives promote and celebrate. I learned three things while I was there.

I’d never really had barbecue before. Oh, I’d had ribs and brisket and burnt ends, but only some well-intentioned New Englander’s ersatz version of those things. By the time I left Austin, I had replaced all my blood with rendered beef fat.
Bats are wildly entertaining. Hang out at the Congress Avenue Bridge around sunset and see for yourself.
All bars, honky tonks and saloons must have a live band. And that band must have a nasty groove. The kind that makes you lean back, bite your lower lip and strum along on your air guitar.

Though ZZ Top were formed in Houston, their groove is pure Austin bar band. One part blues, one part rock, one part boogie-woogie, zero parts pretense. Even their record titles were brutally direct. ZZ Top’s first album was called ZZ Top’s First Album. And then there’s this week’s entry, Tres Hombres. Three dudes. Billy, Dusty and Frank. Guitar, bass and drums. Where do you want us to set up? We’ll be ready to play in ten minutes.

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There may not be a better one-two punch to start an album than “Waiting for the Bus” and “Jesus Just Left Chicago”. Even though they’re listed as separate tracks, they’re so intertwined that one simply became part of the other. They also tell you, in no uncertain terms, what we’re doing here. We’ve got cash, we’ve got booze and we’ve got a bus to take us where we need to go. And, by the way, we’re riding with El Saviour. See you on the road!

Another aspect of ZZ Top’s legend is their penchant for raunchy storytelling. Many of their songs are based around some kind of misadventure that starts or ends in a bar. “Beer Drinkers & Hell Raisers” is a curriculum vitae for their audience and themselves. It also contains a stanza that would make the Beastie Boys proud:

The joint was jumpin’ like a cat on hot tin

Lord, I thought the floor was gonna give in

Soundin’ a lot like a House Congressional

‘Cause we’re experimental and professional

Ad Rock just took out his notebook.

The lowdown on “Precious and Grace” is that Billy and Dusty picked up a pair of female hitchhikers who may or may not have been incarcerated the day before. These “ladies” took the boys to a local shagging spot where, as they were about to get down, a fellow with a shotgun approached the car and scared the Bejeezus Just Left Chicago out of them. Terrifying story, but a damn good song.

Now I’m gonna do something here that has rarely been done in the annals of rock ‘n’ roll writing. I’m going to tie ZZ Top to Rush. The connection is the drug-addled tune “The Sheik.” It is, without question, the blues rock equivalent of Rush’s “A Passage to Bangkok”. In both cases, it’s basically a travelog of three guys schlepping from country to country in search of the best contraband on the planet. Naturally.

You probably know that “La Grange” is about one of the most famous whorehouses in the U.S., if not the world. The Chicken Ranch has inspired many fantasies, more than a few songs and even a Broadway musical. ZZ Top nearly cracked the Top 40 with their homage. I would’ve paid dearly to hear Kasey Kasem introduce that one.

If there’s one nit to pick, it’s that the gospel tracks on this album don’t quite measure up. But it doesn’t matter. The rockers are so good that there’s even room for a song about being strapped into a large metal ball and tossed off the back of a pickup truck going 60mph. It’s just the kind of thing three fun-loving dudes would get themselves into.

Billy, Dusty and Frank.

Tres hombres, indeed.

Mitch’s Response:

Of the roughly 2,634 concerts that I've seen over the last 40 years, I'd guess that about 83% were "shows" and the rest were "productions". To clarify:

A "show" is a concert in the jamband style, which typically means a three-hour performance spread across two sets with a different set list every night. The band will be dressed casually and will barely acknowledge the audience, but you'll get some killer tunes and trippy lights. It's called a "show" because the most common refrain when saying goodbye to old friends and new strangers is, "have a great show, brah."

A "production," on the other hand, is a performance that is highly choreographed with basically the same set list from night to night, like a Broadway production. There are often hidden musicians, backing tracks, and elaborate stage designs. Even the seemingly improvisational stage banter will be repeated from night to night. "Productions" aren't necessarily bad - practice does make perfect, after all - but they can feel a little canned and less spontaneous. More product than passion.

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I definitely wouldn't have bought tickets to see ZZ Top in 1991, but The Black Crowes were opening for them at the Knick, and you definitely didn't miss Crowes shows back then (don’t worry, you can safely miss The Zombie Crowes now). The Crowes put on a great show (nice “Jealous Guy” cover), and I figured since I was already in for $19.50, I might as well stay for ZZ Top.

ZZ Top was in full-on “production” mode. There was smoke and coordinated "dance moves''. There were matching white suits and long, silky beards. There were spinning guitars and replica "Eliminator" cars. There was painfully canned banter, and there were...conveyor belts.

The conveyor belts allowed Billy & Dusty to moonwalk around the stage, creating a sense of forward momentum that was conspicuously absent from the rote performance of their '80s hits. The whole thing was interesting but kind of boring, and I was getting ready to take off, when the band finally started taking off by dipping into their classic material. You know, like the stuff on Tres Hombres.

You can feel the energy and passion on Tres Hombres, and they clearly had a raucous time making it. Songs like "Waitin' for the Bus">"Jesus Just Left Chicago", "Hot, Blue & Righteous", and "La Grange" show the power of ZZ Top before they became caricatures of themselves. The rest of Tres Hombres gets repetitive - it makes me feel like I'm riding a conveyor belt to nowhere, powered by southern boogie blues - but that’s more on me (and my personal tastes) than them.

Pitch Successful (did you know the one without a beard was named "Beard"?)

Ken’s Response:

Confession: I’m late with my response. I want to believe it’s because work has been super busy and I’ve had a lot of personal commitments, but it’s not. Sure, I’ve been straight out as they say and there’s a ton going on, but the real problem is that there’s not much to say about ZZ Top.

Blues gets repetitive, even with an edge. ZZ Top’s edge seems to be that the driving force of the band is the bass and drums, the two most boring pieces of almost any band. There are some great guitar licks and the vocals are a well-intended rough and dirty, but it’s that bass that keeps everyone in line. It’s original, it’s well-crafted, it works within the confines of blues scales, but let’s be honest, it gets old fast.

I love “Waiting for the Bus” and “Jesus Just Left Chicago”, after that I could take or leave “Beer Drinkers & Hell Raisers” and “Master of Sparks”. Frankly, the entire “middle” of the album is unremarkable. Fortunately, the bring it back with three hot tracks to finish up with “La Grange”, the strange “Skeik” and my favorite track, “Have You Heard”, a meandering little blues tune filled with old school blues riffs and some odd-yet-lovely harmonies from the boys.

When you have a body of work like ZZ Top, and half the album is solid, albeit a bit boring, I suppose there’s a place on the shelves of the Newbury St. Collection for you.

Pitch Successful (I’m going back to waitin’ for the bus to work)

CJ’s pitch was successful and ZZ Top has driven right into the Newbury St. Collection. What’s your take on ZZ Top and Tres Hombres? Which Top 20 album from 1974 would you have pitched? Please let us know in the comments section.

Exile on Newbury St.

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