New Kids On The Block, "Hangin' Tough"

Ken likes NKOTB, What’cha gonna do (about it)

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Aug 30, 2023

Ken’s Pitch:

Boston has a long history of being on the front lines of American History. From dumping shitloads of tea into the water behind the Barking Crab (maybe that’s why their food sucks), to that time Paul Revere rode from Mike’s Pastry all the way to that big national park in Lexington where they have that reenactment battle every April, we’ve been cutting and slicing our way into the high school textbooks (except in Florida where they just added an 8th day to the week on which God created The United States of America…and, according to many of my middle school mates…Led Zeppelin).

The 1980s were a quiet time in Boston. The bussing crisis of the ‘70s was over, we hadn’t yet started The Big Dig, one of the most catastrophically over-budget public works projects the world has ever seen, and we were wallowing in stagnation. Our beloved J. Geils Band had broken up, Aerosmith was putting out crap until they went sober for Permanent Vacation, and Boston’s Third Stage was good but not great. The Red Sox ranged from decent to bad, the Patriots were a complete joke (even in ‘85 when they somehow managed to sneak into the Superbowl), the Bruins had some fantastic teams but couldn’t manage to get through the Gretzky-led Oilers in the finals, so all we had was our history, our insanely good colleges, the best hospitals and healthcare in the world, safe streets and safe schools, incredible museums, serene beaches, wonderful restaurants, incredible fall foliage, a robust theater and arts scene, a booming economy, and of course, the 16-time World Champion Boston Celtics. As you can see, these were tough times.

Then out of the ashes of a city and region on the brink of ruin came another revolution. A hiply-dressed, falsetto-singing, multi-part harmony revolution. A children’s crusade of boy band bubblegum pop led by New Edition and our beloved New Kids On The Block.

While New Edition was an immediate hit, with their amazing harmonies and cool personas, it was five seemingly goofy kids from the blue-collar streets of Dorchester that gave us the boy band equivalent of the shot heard round the world.

They set the musical world aflame and by 1990 they were the #1 pop artist on the planet. Without them, there’s most likely no NSYNC, no Backstreet Boys. There’s probably no Jonas Brothers or One Direction either. That means Justin Timberlake probably doesn’t become famous, Harry Styles too.

I’m 53 years old, so I’m not going to pretend that I listen to any of these artists on a daily or weekly basis. But when you go to museums or halls of fame, you don’t have to love every piece of art, history, or memorabilia there. You just have to appreciate their significance and their place in history, and their importance to their industry.

As Dylan said, “Your old road is rapidly aging. Please get out of the new one if you can’t lend a hand.” So I’m lending a hand for the groundbreaking NKOTB to claim their rightful place in Boston, as part of the Newbury St. Collection. You can give a hand too, but if you don’t, at least get the hell out of the way.

CJ’s Response:

I am generally proud of Boston’s outsized place in the entertainment industry. Matt is consistently great and even though Ben can be insufferable, I still like him. Mindy, Steve and John made The Office run. Uma, Geena, Eliza and every Evans in the greater Sudbury area have all made their mark in Hollywood. Top that off with all the writers, directors and producers from the Bay State and you pretty much can’t swing a dead cat on a movie set without hitting someone who drops their r’s.

As I work my way down the list of favorite Hub celebrities, however, it takes me an awfully long time to get to the Wahlberg acting/music/hamburger dynasty. These brothers, in all their incarnations, feel like they were background extras in a dog food commercial who somehow never left the scene. Mark is easily the most successful Wahlberg and his fame still baffles me. He was the star of one of the best movies of the 1990s, Boogie Nights, and yet he was unwatchable in 75% of the film. While all the great actors around him were playing caricatures of douchy, unselfaware members of the porn industry, Mark just seemed to be playing himself.

New Kids On The Block was the original Wahlberg vehicle with Donnie serving as its premier member. Were they groundbreaking? Well, they were certainly preceded by New Edition, Boyz II Men and Mitch’s favorite boy band, Menudo. If you were being generous, I guess you could say they were the first pasty white song and dance act to succeed on a large scale. That they paved the way for NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys isn’t exactly a point of pride, but we do give points for musical influence here on Newbury St.

What I can’t credit in any way, shape or form, though, is this album. It sucks out loud. And no amount of Boston Pride can make up for that.

Pitch Failed (The worst Super Bowl halftime act since Up With People.)

Mitch’s Response:

Looking across the history of the industry, most musicians fall into one of two camps: there are "artists" who create to please themselves, and "entertainers" who create to please others. Every once in a while you get a unicorn like Paul McCartney or Taylor Swift who can somehow do both - make great art while delivering fan service - and that's probably why they become the biggest stars in the world.

It comes as no surprise that a manufactured boy band like NKOTB would fall into the "entertainer" category, and I have tremendous respect for their dedication to their fan base. Put CJ's cheap shots aside; Wahlburgers is a truly great hamburger chain (OFD forever) and the Wahlburgers reality show was a fun watch (RIP Alma & Nacho), even if there isn't enough editing skill in Hollywood to cover up Mark's psychotic tendencies. My favorite episodes always featured my favorite Wahlberg, Donnie, and it was abundantly clear how much he and the rest of NKOTB truly appreciate their fans. They're consummate entertainers and I respect them tremendously for that.

Artistically, it's a somewhat different story. NKOTB is a cynical front for Maurice Starr, who thought he would sell more records with a white boy band than a black boy band (and he had already ripped off New Edition and gotten fired.) Musically, there's nothing Boston about this album, as it's a straight rip of the iconic Philly soul sound, and quite specifically a pale imitation of perhaps the best Philly Soul band of all time - The Delfonics.

Starr wrote four standout songs for this album - "Please Don't Go Girl", "I'll Be Loving You", "I Need You", and "I Remember When". Unfortunately the late, great William Hart wasn't in NKOTB and the doppelgängers from Dorchester just don't have the authority or vocal chops to carry the material.

The two anthems - "You Got It" and "Hangin' Tough" are fine but unremarkable, as if written by the Commodore 64 version of Chat GPT. The rest of the album sounds like a Lisa Lisa-New Jack swing mash-up and should be filed away permanently under "kidz bop".

I adore the Philly soul sound. I love Donnie (and Jenny). I respect NKOTB, but the orange line ain't making it to Back Bay station this time.

Pitch Failed (Here's NKOTB covering The Delfonics' "Didn't I Blow Your Mind")

Ken’s pitch was unsuccessful and the New Kids have been thrown out of Newbury St. (probably not for the first time). What’s your take on NKOTB and Hangin’ Tough? Which Top 20 album from 1989 would you have pitched? Please let us know in the comments section.

Exile on Newbury St.

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