Dire Straits, "Dire Straits"

CJ spends some time swinging with the sultans

CJ’s Pitch:

In 1978, several years before they were Brothers in Arms, Mark and David Knopfler, along with bandmates John Illsley and Pick Withers, released their self-titled debut album Dire Straits. It’s an impressive effort considering that the song everybody associates with it—the all-time classic “Sultans of Swing”—is only the fourth best song on the album.

I didn’t come to appreciate Dire Straits until I was out of college and trying to figure out what being an adult meant. Brothers in Arms came out when I was in high school and I really didn’t care for it. So, I ignored the band until I was driving home late one night and heard “Down to the Waterline” on the radio. I went out and bought the album the next day.

“Down to the Waterline” is an interesting choice for an opening track in that there are twenty seconds of silence before the first soulful notes of Mark Knopfler’s guitar can be heard. I don’t think I’m the only one who second-guessed whether I had hit the PLAY button or not. But, boy, does it deliver the goods after that.

The song is about a young man trying to find a place to be alone with his girlfriend. When abandoned stairways and darkened doorways won’t do, they go down to the waterline. It’s a raging teenage hormone piece that speaks to anybody who’s ever sought a quiet place to screw. But, it’s played deftly and sung sweetly by Knopfler. Consider this evocative little couplet:

No money in our jackets and our jeans are torn.

Your hands are cold, but your lips are warm.

If that doesn’t stir something in your bathing suit region, it might be time for the little blue pills. 

“Water of Love”, a more mature love song about thirst—long before being thirsty was corrupted by the feckless internet generation—comes next. And “Six Blade Knife,” which is either about an ex-girlfriend or a guitar or perhaps an homage to those geniuses in the Swiss Army, round out the Top 3 before we get to “Sultans of Swing.”

As jaded as I am, I must admit that I never get tired of hearing “Sultans of Swing” regardless of how overplayed it is. There is something eternally charming about the self-satisfaction of an anonymous London jazz club band. They play for sparse crowds of drunken Mods every night and have no aspirations to do otherwise.

And Harry doesn’t mind if he doesn’t make the scene.

He’s got a daytime job, he’s doing all right.

Good for you, Harry! And good for Knopfler, who unleashes a decidedly un-jazz-like solo (sans pick) at the end of the song that instantly becomes canon for guitar players everywhere.

There’s more joy to be found in the rockabilly tracks “Setting Me Up” and “Southbound Again” while the literally artsy “In the Gallery” and adult contemporary “Lions” round out the lush soundscape.

In short, you don’t have to love Dire Straits to love Dire Straits.

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Ken’s Response:

I went into this album so thrilled that it wasn’t a Dio record or some obscure, European Scorpions bootleg.  But, spoiler alert, this album isn’t as good as one might think.  It’s not all bad either.  After the third time falling asleep listening to it, I made it all the way to the end...so that’s something.

I like Mark Knopfler, well maybe I don’t.  Honestly, I can’t decide.  His guitar-playing is impeccable, but his voice is like what you’d get if a British guy who could carry a tune - but wasn’t exactly a great singer - tried to imitate Dylan.  His guitar solos can sometimes stop you in your tracks, but I think I’ve settled on the fact that he kind of bores me.  So what we have is  a front man that isn’t all that dynamic or exciting, lyrics that don’t make me think too much, and band mates that seem content with just anonymously backing up their guitarist.  If they were a sitcom they’d be Home Improvement, a one-trick pony that you eventually tire of, and “eventually” doesn’t take very long at all.

Also, what exactly am I listening to?  It’s rock, but it’s country too...and they’re British!  I’m not sure I’d go so far as calling it cultural appropriation, and I guess if The Rolling Stones can kick ass on “Dead Flowers”, Dire Straits is allowed to be mediocre on “Setting Me Up”.

The album is actually quite listenable, but it’s just too straight-forward for my taste.  You don’t need to check all the boxes for me, but you have to at least check a few.  Dire Straits only checks the one that says “good guitar playing”.

Sorry CJ, but you're gonna have to find your water of love from Don or Mitch.

• Pitch Failed (Ay-Oh)

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Don’s Response:

I tried. I really tried. 

Great guitar solos? Here and there. British Dylanesque vocal phrasing? Works some of the time. Tasteful playing by the entire band? Yes, but it would be nice if their tea wasn’t so apparently bitter and decaffeinated. 

Gents, this is rock and roll. Live a little. Get yourselves some MTV.

The record starts promising with “Down to the Waterline,” but, like that tune, it never really picks up steam until the classic, “Sultans of Swing.” In between, songs stayed in their groove, but nothing broke out and grabbed me. 

I wanted to like it, but the band just couldn’t get unstuck from their difficult situation. And like the record, it unfortunately lived up to its name.

• Pitch Failed (Did they have to install microwave ovens and make custom kitchen deliveries to fund this album?)

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Mitch’s Response:

I’ll say upfront that this album is an easy sell for me because it’s part of my childhood vinyl collection (please note that I differentiate between my beloved childhood vinyl collection and the overpriced re-presses I late night drunk purchase these days). I’ve always loved Dire Straits and have even defended “Love Over Gold” on several occasions.

Dire Straits is the kind of band where the guy called Pick is actually the drummer and the guy who plays guitar doesn’t use a pick. In other words, they’re a British band, which means that I can only understand about half of what they say and none of what they mean.

Dire Straits is also the kind of band where I think every song is about prostitutes. I guess that’s the downside of having a hit called “Your Latest Trick”, but it’s kind of fun to just assume that every Dire Straits song is about prostitutes, hence why I stay out of the Wild West End.

Mark Knopfler is a member of Jewish rock’s Mount Rushmore, and is one of the most tasteful guitar players in rock history, with a distinct and warm tone. I could listen to that dude noodle for hours. He’s also a really confident singer. And he writes great songs. What’s not to love?

Well, for starters, the rest of the band is nothing special, and there’s nothing musically memorable about this record outside of Mark’s songs, guitar and vocals. Secondly, for an album with only 9 tracks there’s a lot of filler tunes - most of which are Brit-country tunes that come awfully close to parody.

So, pardner, I’m surprising even myself by saying that I like - but don’t love - this album. Three great tunes and a bunch of hokey filler means that your six-blade knife is a little dull for this space cowboy.

• Pitch Failed (David Knopfler is the Thanasis Antetokounmpo of Dire Straits.)

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CJ’s pitch has failed and Dire Straits’ Dire Straits has been exiled from Newbury St.

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