Bobby Brown, "Don't Be Cruel"

Mitch says 'we outta here' to 2021

Mitch Blum

CJ Kaplan

, and

Ken Warshaw

Dec 29, 2021

Mitch’s Pitch:

Before there was Vegas, there was Cape Cod.

You know what I mean. A magical place where whatever happens there, stays there. A place where youthful hijinks and misadventures become the stuff of future nostalgia.

Screwing around on Cape Cod is a right-of-passage for most suburban kids from Boston. Parties in cold, empty houses during the shoulder seasons. Going “bowling” at Chinese restaurants with terrible, homemade fake IDs. Ending up on strange boats, with strange people, drinking strange liquids, and somehow getting back to strange shorelines.

And while I spent my youth in the swamps of Jersey, I was lucky enough to spend my teen years in Boston, so I, too, greatly enjoyed screwing around on Cape Cod. And if you asked me to pick one cassette as the official theme music for screwing around on Cape Cod, it would undoubtedly be Bobby Brown’s Don’t Be Cruel, an album that fully embodies the spirit of kids from Boston just screwing around.

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The mid-‘80s were an auspicious time to move to Boston, one of those occasional decades where the city that always sleeps pushes itself into the center of the cultural conversation and tries to convince everyone that it’s a real boy city. Whitey Bulger filled the headlines. Cheers was the best show on TV. The Celtics were a dynasty, the Sox were one strike away from glory, and even the lowly Patriots shuffled to the superbowl. Most surprisingly, we cornered the market on boy bands, with New Kids on the Block, featuring future EGOT winner Donnie Wahlberg, and New Edition, made up of the all-star lineup of Bell, Biv, Devoe, Johnny Gill, Ralph Tresvant, and the one and only Bobby Brown.

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There’s no screwing around here - Bobby Brown’s Don’t Be Cruel is a classic album. It effectively defined the New Jack Swing sound and catapulted the careers of Babyface, L.A. Reid and Brown. It’s jam-packed with hits and it earned every accolade and Grammy that came it’s way. It’s a fantastic album.

It’s also one of the most unintentionally hilarious albums ever made, with the overwrought Cruel prelude/reprise, the corny OG style of rapping, and the lyrical philosophy of a teenager who just wants to screw around.

So, it’s no surprise that I absolutely adored this album when it came out while I was a teenager who just wanted to screw around. Sometimes the stars just align.

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The philosophy of Bobby Brown, as presented in “My Prerogative”, can best be summed up as: “I’m not sure why you’re mad at me, I was just doing whatever I felt like doing.” It’s exactly what any teenager wants to hear, the idea that any accountability for one’s actions is a form of persecution, and that personal expression outweighs personal responsibility. The fact that this message is wrapped in a funky package makes it that much better.

“My Prerogative” is only one of many absolute bangers on this album, including the title track “Don’t Be Cruel,” which really established the new jack swing formula via producer Teddy Riley: syncopated drum machines, R&B vocals, and rap breakdowns. It’s a fun, fresh and accessible sound that signaled the future direction of music. The blend of soul and rap is so ubiquitous now as to be unremarkable, but at the time this was a huge breakthrough.

As good as the uptempo songs are, it’s the surprisingly tender ballads that take Don’t Be Cruel to the next level of sensorial delight. I still don’t understand where “Roni” comes from, but it’s a tasty song served with rap, extra cheese. “Rock Wit’cha” takes us into slow-jamz territory, and even if Bobby can’t sing like Marvin Gaye, he can still produce some fantastic baby-makin’ music. “Take it Slow” is the hidden gem of the album, a beautiful soul side that wouldn’t sound out of place coming from The Delfonics.

Sure, there’s a couple of harmless filler tunes on side B, but even our beloved Jim Ed Rice struck out a few times in his prime. Don’t Be Cruel is a surprising masterpiece of an album, full of memorable hits, big attitude, innovative music, and just straight up good times.

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I can scarcely believe that it’s been 35 years since I first moved to Boston. Shortly after landing, I got a job at a bookstore and was introduced to the underground economy (Playboys for lime rickeys) by CJ Kaplan, and not too long after that I saw a young Ken Warshaw playing sax in the high school jazz room. And here we are, all these years later, still arguing about music and sports, still screwing around on the Cape, and still taking every little step together.

I’m sure that you’ll vote Don’t Be Cruel into the Newbury St. Collection, but even if you don’t, remember that this tough homeboy still loves you both and wishes you - and all of our tenderoni readers - a very happy and healthy new year.

Ken’s Response:

The late ‘80s was the first time Gen X took over the music industry. Our early approval ratings were a mixed bag at best. For every Appetite for Destruction we put on the charts, there were two or three Debbie Gibsons, Tiffanys, and Milli Vanillis. We were all over the place. Flying below the radar was a new movement that combined elements of jazz, rock, pop, and rap called New Jack Swing. And the king of NJS (I’m not making this up, one of the pioneers of the genre used that term himself) was former New Edition phenom Bobby Brown.

Listening to Don’t Be Cruel conjures images of Bananarama’s “Cruel Summer”, Parliament Funkadelic’s “Give Up The Funk”, and early Run DMC. It’s a beautiful fusion that incorporates so many of the things we adore from the ‘60s, ‘70s, and ‘80s. But more than just an homage to its predecessors, it stands on its own as unique and compelling.

I gave my kids a sort of Pepsi Challenge this week. My boys (18 and 15) like hip hop, rap, and classic rock so it seemed that my chances were pretty good that Don’t Be Cruel would pass the test. WRONG! They said “Roni” had ridiculous lyrics, that “My Prerogative” was like a children’s song, and “Every Little Step” was embarrassing. I was a bit bloodied in that battle.

While approval from Gen Z alluded me, spending the week with Bobby and Don’t Be Cruel was an absolute joy! Maybe you do need to give the album (particularly the lyrics) some historical context, and maybe my kids see early rap/hip hop the way my generation saw “Rock Around The Clock” and “The Twist”. What do they know anyway? Kids these days…what are you gonna do?

Pitch successful (I have a feeling “Rock Wit’cha” might be a euphemism about sex)

CJ’s Response:

Before we begin, I think I need to manage your expectations here. I don’t know who Babyface or L.A. Reid are and I couldn’t tell you the difference between New Jack Swing and Old Jack Swing. (I’m so at sea on this subject that I’m reverting to dad jokes.)

I am somewhat familiar with the Messrs. Bell, Biv & Devoe because I believe, as they do, that you can’t put your faith in an oversized posterior and a Cheshire grin. But if you’re looking for some new insights on this style of pop music, you’ve come to the wrong place.

I do, however, know who Robert “Bobby” Brown is and, as my father-in-law would say, I dig that cat. Growing up in the Boston area in the ‘80s, it was impossible to avoid seeing and hearing Bobby everywhere you went. If he wasn’t on MTV, he was on V66—Boston’s version of MTV only with bigger hair and Revere speech patterns.

It comes as a surprise to me that Mitch is a fan of this album, though, because he was pretty heavily invested in the Grateful Dead and their ilk when we met. Jerry & Co. were all he talked about as we packaged plastic-wrapped Playboys to be exchanged for frozen treats with my buddy Eric at Brigham’s ice cream parlor across the street. But I guess sometimes the moment carries the music as it must have on the Cape that summer for Mitch.

As for the album itself, the first side is pretty much flawless. Five straight dance/pop masterpieces without skipping a beat. The second side is a mess. It’s like something Lonely Island would use if they needed a backbeat for a parody song about pumpkin spice lattes. Maybe they replaced L.A. Reid with Des Moines Reid for Side 2, who knows? (See, dad jokes.)

I don’t know what to do here, so I’m going to invoke my Boston executive privilege. In the name of Johnny Most, Anthony’s Pier IV and the Wonderland Dog Track, I hereby welcome Bobby Brown’s Don’t Be Cruel to Newbury St.

So let it be written. So let it be, er ah, done.

Pitch Successful (I’ll trade ya “Girls of the SEC” for a double scoop of Rocky Road.)

Mitch’s pitch was successful and Bobby Brown’s Don’t Be Cruel has been added to the Newbury St. Collection.

We’re not going to do this on our own, so why don’tcha come humpin’ around to the comments section and let us know whether Bobby Brown’s Don’t Be Cruel is good enough, or if we should cool it now with all the Boston love.

Exile on Newbury St.

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