Aerosmith, "Toys in the Attic"
CJ goes up into the crawl space and dusts off an old classic
CJ’s Pitch:
There’s a reason Richard Linklater has Pink, Wooderson, Slater and Simone embark on a quest to purchase Aerosmith tickets at the end of his beloved coming-of-age flick Dazed and Confused. In the summer of 1976, which is when the movie is set, going to an Aerosmith show was just about the coolest thing you could do. Even if you were a teenager in a west Texas town being hunted by a crazed, paddle-wielding, 37-year-old Ben Affleck pretending to be a high school student.
At the time, Aerosmith was finishing up a four-album, four-year run of terror that included 1973’s Aerosmith, 1974’s Get Your Wings, 1976’s Rocks and, in my opinion, the capo di tutti capi, 1975’s Toys in the Attic. By the end of ’76, substance abuse, in-fighting and everything else you’d find in a Behind The Music episode sent the band into a nearly decade-long tailspin. And they may have never recovered had it not been for a combination of--in no particular order of significance--MTV, Run-DMC and Betty Ford. But, that’s a story for another time.
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Unless you’re from Boston, it’s easy to forget that Aerosmith was once considered the American Rolling Stones. With the release of Toys, you could’ve made a case that the Stones were the British Aerosmith. (That sound you hear is Don’s head exploding.) No matter where you fall in that argument, though, the power of this album is undeniable.
Following the success of the first two records, the band had a swagger and a confidence that is evident throughout Toys. They draw heavily from their blues influences while infusing what can only be described as a ‘70s rock sensibility into each song. Cuts like “Uncle Salty” and “Adam’s Apple” combine the perfect mix of musicianship and sleaze. Even the goofball “Big Ten Inch Record” has enough swing to make it a fun listen every once in a while. (Hey, Van Halen had “Ice Cream Man”. I can forgive Aerosmith for “Big Ten”.)
But, just in case you thought they weren’t serious, the band hits you with the super sludgy “Round and Round”, the exquisite ballad “You See Me Crying” and the requisite I-can’t-stand-another-day-on-the-road travel log “No More No More”.
Side Note: “No More No More” is yet another road song that mentions the Holiday Inn in an unflattering light. That makes three or four that we’ve covered by my count. Were there no other hotels to stay at in the 1970s? A Hilton? A Hyatt, perhaps?
And then there are the monsters. Is there any rock fan among us who doesn’t know all the words to “Toys in the Attic”, “Sweet Emotion” and “Walk This Way”? The opening notes of all three of these songs bring entire stadiums to their feet. “Walk This Way” is so good that it brought the disparate fan bases of rock and rap together to celebrate what is, to this day, one of the most successful collaborations of all time.
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Toys in the Attic holds a special place in my personal music library. Putting it on is like seeing an old college girlfriend after many years have passed. You remember all the good times, the craziness, the lack of responsibility that you shared once upon a time. There’s a language and a rhythm to that relationship that comes rushing back to you with a single smile. Toys makes me smile that smile.
Go ahead, take Toys in the Attic out for a stroll around the block. And if you run into that college girlfriend in your travels, give her just a little kiss.
Like this.
Ken’s Response:
You know those “You know you’re from (insert name of city here) when…” lists that pop up on Facebook every 10 seconds? They’re all ridiculous. I grew up in the suburbs of Boston, went to college in Arizona, and stopped over for a very long 3-years in Omaha on my way back to Massachusetts where I’ve now happily been for the last 20 years. There truly is no place like home. But you don’t have to say “wicked” every other sentence or say “pahk ya cah” like those stupid lists say. There are, however, a few things you’ll need to know when moving to Greater Boston. Consider this both a warning and a generous primer for your impending move.
Being Snobs: We were just ranked as the snobbiest state in the country. Between starting the Revolutionary War (you’re welcome), our world-class universities and hospitals, and being a hub of high-finance and biotech, we’ve got a pretty good thing going here…as long as you don’t want to eat or take a subway after 10 pm.
Sports: Look, you don’t need to be a huge Red Sox, Bruins, Patriots, and Celtics fan. Just pick two and follow them passionately. Chances are that among the two you pick, several championships will be coming your way within the next 5 years.
Coffee: We don’t all live next door to a Dunks; in fact, since 2012 we’ve even allowed people to choose other brands of coffee without public ridicule. But for all that is holy, please order quickly! We’re very important people (see above) and we have places to go and things to do. Standing behind you while you order a grande-chai-tea-macha-topped-nonfat-cinnamon-latte makes us collectively crazy. You’re really making it easy for us to think we’re better people than you.
Aerosmith: You don’t have to like ALL the Aerosmith albums. While we will defend Rocks and Toys in the Attic to the death, I’ve actually had public discussions about how bad Done With Mirrors is and I’ve made it home unscathed. But Toys is the undisputed heavyweight champion of the Aerosmith discography. It’s not just “Walk This Way” and “Sweet Emotion” though; “Uncle Salty”, “Adam’s Apple” and the underrated classic “No More No More” make this album so powerful it could knock out Rocky Marciano himself.
Pitch Successful
Don’s Response:
The first 45 rpm record I ever purchased with my own money was Aerosmith’s “Sweet Emotion”. I’d heard the song on FM radio while staying up past my bedtime in the late ‘70s and thought it was so cool and so different from anything else I’d heard on the stations my mom listened to while driving my brothers and me to our activities. But this was before I started mowing lawns to fund my record collection, so I never had the dough to buy the full Toys In The Attic album.
The band fizzled for a few years and departed my consciousness until their comeback in the mid-’80s, when they became MTV staples. During one of their appearances, a VJ ended the interview by asking Steven Tyler if he had anything to say to the fans, and without irony nor subtlety, he earnestly replied, “Hey ladies, thanks for the mammories.”
(I pause for effect.)
Even in my mid-teens, which you’d think was the target audience for Tyler’s salutation, I realized this guy was not only batshit crazy but also unredeemably cheesy.
My thoughts on Aerosmith have been conflicted ever since. Believe it or not, I never ended up listening to Toys until last week. I didn’t even know the album included their original version of “Walk This Way,” which is the only other Aerosmith tune I can say I really liked. I had written them off.
So after CJ proposed we review the record this week, I was half crestfallen and half licking my chops to ridicule the selection.
Reluctantly, while driving my 14-year-old daughter to soccer practice the other day, I asked her to put Toys on Spotify. Her thumb must have slipped, because it accidentally started with track 5: “Big Ten Inch Record.” Let’s just say I practically drove off the road while diving to turn down the volume at the end of the first verse.
Thanks, CJ.
Needless to say, I wasn’t looking forward to listening to the record when I got home. But then a funny thing happened. The more I listened, the more I liked. In addition to their two signature hits (“Emotion” and “Walk”), I found I also favored a few other great songs on the album, especially “No More No More” and “You See Me Crying.” And I was quite impressed with Hamilton’s bass playing throughout, and the surprisingly tasteful guitar interplay between Perry & Whitford. They were a damn good band back in the day.
All that said, I’m still conflicted, because despite a few classics, there are too many weak songs. Too much filler. Too much cheese.
Pitch Failed
Mitch’s Response:
Life used to be much simpler. Back in the day, certain bands were cool (let’s say Van Halen) and if you liked them, you were cool by association. Other bands were not cool (let’s say REO Speedwagon) and if you liked them, you were not cool by association. See? Simple.
But what do you do if it’s unclear whether a band is cool or not? What then? How will I know if I’ll be cool by association if I can’t even tell if a band is cool? More specifically, is Aerosmith still cool? Were they ever cool? How will my extreme coolness be affected by an association with Aerosmith?
Things that make Aerosmith tragically uncool: Joe Perry not playing the solo on "Train Kept a Rollin’”, The Sgt. Pepper’s movie, Steven Tyler falling off stages, Joey Kramer’s Rockin’ & Roastin’ Organic Coffee, the years without Perry & Whitford, Tyler’s Hermes scarf collection, Joe Perry being in a band with Captain Jack Sparrow, that terrible Armageddon song, getting preachy about sobriety in between relapses, the schlocky Desmond Child co-writes, sleazing on Britney Spears at the Super Bowl, and, of course, "Honkin’ on Bobo”, the worst blues album ever recorded. That’s a whole lotta uncool.
Things that make Aerosmith very cool: Their first four albums, especially “Toys in The Attic”.
My older brother Steve collected all the Aerosmith albums so I know them quite well, even though the band tends to be a little heavy for my “sophisticated" tastes. Toys is my favorite of the bunch, and is a near perfect rock album, from the high-energy title track to the proto-power ballad closer of "You See Me Crying”. The warhorses are still powerful ( although it’s weird to hear "Walk This Way” without Run-DMC) and there are only two duds: the novelty song “Big Ten Inch Record” and “Round and Round” which isn’t even as good as the similarly-titled RATT tune.
So, in the final assessment, is Aerosmith cool?
Who cares. Cool guys like me let the music do the talking.
Pitch Successful
CJ’s pitch was successful and Aerosmith’s Toys in the Attic has been added to the Newbury St. Collection.
It was no surprise that we were crazy for Toys in the Attic, but let’s keep this train a-rollin’ to the comments section so you can let us know if you think Aerosmith has what it takes, or leaves you cryin’ no more, no more.
Please join us next week as Mitch revisits the Teen Beat years with a fashionable look at Duran Duran’s Rio.
The best thing about Bobo is the mini harp they were giving away with that purchase, that I still have attached to my car keys. What should have been a short walk to the blues ended up being detoured to the land fill. That being said, my journey with Aerosmith all began with their cover of Train kept a rollin’, a jump blues cut from the ‘50’s reworked by the yardbirds, Jeff Beck, and Jimi page with Led Zeplin. Needless to say I put my Elton John and Jackson Browne albums down for awhile after that. By the time Toys came out my senior year, I was a full blown Aerosmith fan. The lead out Joe did on Sweet Emotion is, to this day, one of the best of any from that era in Classic rock. That in itself wAs worth the price of that album to many young aspiring guitarists like myself.
Nice takes guys. Those first four albums had some serious grease in the gears. I prefer Rocks but that’s just me. Records were shorter then, so listening to one usually led to another and that’s almost always Toys.
“Thanks for the mammaries”, oh my that’s heavy cheddar.